I’m about to start my stretch class and the atmosphere is as usual soft and quiet. It’s peaceful and forgiving – I share that I sometimes feel tearful here and during my yoga class. Our lovely teacher says this is very common, that as we relax our muscles and let go we are able to release and let go of our emotions.
She uses the word ‘ cathartic’.
Yes, that word is very apt and although on the surface this process seems obvious, today this thought feels very profound. And I want to share it with you.
Perhaps because it’s my birthday. Perhaps because I’m still looking at ways to lead my life and do my work.
Letting go, releasing, allowing ourselves to deeply connect with what we know and what we can contribute feels very relevant.
In your life, particularly in your work I wonder if you are very concerned with looking competent, professional and good at what you do. I sense that some of you OUT LOUDERS are scared of making a mistake or simply not being able to complete all that you have to do; like me perhaps, you are so very attached to being seen as getting things right, to not messing up. Maybe this particularly plays out in meetings where you get intimidated by the sea of suits before you, feel they are judging you. Often the stress of wanting to appear competent and knowledgeable means you tense up and go blank.
In your efforts to look good you literally forget everything you know.
Despite now doing work I absolutely love and feel born to do, I still find myself sometimes trying really hard, trying and trying to be the best coach, the best facilitator/trainer/workshop leader. And of course the more I try, the more elusive that ‘best’ is.
And I so often see this playing out with clients as well. Even those (perhaps especially those), who on the surface appear very successful. You can be a highly experienced and competent manager in a huge multi-national corporation. Yet when you get in front of a group of executives at a meeting your confidence dips, you get nervous and despite being thoroughly well prepared you go blank. You feel judged and you judge yourself. And of course the more wound up you become, the worse you feel you perform.
A vicious circle indeed.
So how do we at OUT LOUD Coaching break the circle?
Over a series of six sessions we identify and acknowledge your talent and expertise. We take time to explore with patience and compassion how your fear of being seen not to know, of feeling and appearing ‘less than’ may mean you disconnect from who you really are. Through powerful questions and an honest seeking for what’s really true, you can access your own wisdom – find for yourself what’s blanking you out.
By being challenged to let go of these pernicious assumptions of how you are supposed to be and try simply being yourself, you can begin to trust and connect with your own competence and allow your expertise and experience to release and shine.
Then you can stop regarding meetings as some kind of exam or test to pass or fail. And as you relax and let go, you can begin to excel in meetings, in fact even enjoy them.
And this of course will have a knock on effect on other areas of your work – you just may realise that there’s no need to try so hard, all you have to do is let go and trust that you know enough, that you are experienced enough.
That you are enough.
OUT LOUDERS, when you let go of the tightly coiled spring that’s wound around your insides and allow yourself to simply ‘be’, to trust your own competence, training and experience then you can do your work. Literally.
Imagine what it would be like if you went to work and simply allowed yourself to be. To trust what you know, to trust your expertise, to stretch in to your area of competence with ease and allow your knowledge and experience to simply flow through and out of you. Can you imagine how blissful – how cathartic – that would feel? The relief of knowing you could be in a meeting or any work situation and it wouldn’t feel hard or nerve wracking?
Work can be this way.
Despite knowing how competent you are, do you find meetings a challenge? Do you tend to get intimidated by colleagues who you feel are judging you? Do you sometimes panic in meetings and go blank? Please share your experiences in the comments section below – and if you have found your own way of letting go we would love to hear about that too. OUT LOUDERS, we need to help each other – we have such rich wisdom to share.
If you’d like to experience the relief of knowing you are enough in any work situation, email me at . Tell me a bit about yourself, what work you do and what prevents you from showing up in the way you really want. We will then set up a free half hour consultation where we can discuss how OUT LOUD Coaching can help you to let go at work and allow the real you to emerge and shine.
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