Be With Who You Love, Do What You Love

I was at a brunch recently to celebrate the birthday of my oldest friend and was chatting to some of her friends who I hadn’t met before. As is often the case, they were intrigued when they heard I am a life coach and wanted to know exactly what it is I do.

I explained that I work with women to help them them be more fully expressed, more truly themselves, more … OUT LOUD. One wanted to know if I had always been a coach and I shared how I originally trained as a solicitor but found that I didn’t really enjoy it, that when I had my first baby it wasn’t a hard decision not to return to the law – even though there were many times when I felt frustrated not to be developing myself or my own potential.

I said that it was only when I became a coach a few years ago, that I found my true calling and that one of the main things I had learnt was that the limits I used to impose on myself about what I could and couldn’t do had little to do with reality or truth. They were things I just thought up, stories I’d invented to justify why I didn’t do the things I longed for. Mostly they were based on fear.

These lovely women listened respectfully and thoughtfully and nodded their heads. Their response was so interesting – each of them said they felt their by now grown up children were doing the things they love, the work they were called to do. I noticed how they didn’t think about themselves first but their attention immediately turned to the people most precious to them – their children. I sensed there was an interesting discussion to be had about the choices they had made in their own lives but really what mattered to them most was that they felt their children had made the choices that were good for them.

I found that very moving. I thought about how I had given up my own career – temporarily – to raise my children in order to give them what I perceived to be the best start for them. I thought about how women so often put their children first and how amazing and beautiful that is, something truly to be celebrated and honoured.

In its own exquisite way it’s very OUT LOUD; simply listening to your most primitive instinct and your heart and expressing yourself with love and for love of others without thought for yourself.

On New Year’s Eve another friend asked our group an interesting question – what were the three moments in 2013 that made you happiest? I reflected on this for a while and when it came to my turn, all I could say was that the moments that made me happiest were to do with my kids. The occasions when we’d been together – celebrating Tabby’s 21^st, Jacob turning the key to his new flat, Toby serving elegant martinis at a party.

For me, this is what life is – being with the people I care about most, loving them, celebrating their achievements …

And actually doing work I love is pretty important too, I’d say.

What were the three happiest moments in your life in 2013?

Does your work make you happy? Bring you fulfilment? In what way?

Please share with us here and if you would like to look at your self- imposed limitations and explore how they are preventing you doing the things you really long to do in 2014, (or maybe even being with the people – or person – you love) contact me at and we can start the conversation.