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Stop pushing!

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Recently, despite a desire to strengthen my awareness of the importance of ‘being,’ I’ve found myself increasingly action oriented. With a packed agenda of ‘important’ tasks to achieve, I’m not only keen to get things done, I feel as if I’m in a perpetual state of push, push, push.

And it occurs to me it is a bit like giving birth. The midwife urges you to push and this is want you want to do, what your body says you must do. The baby has to be born and that’s what you’re determined to make happen – with all your might.

Yet at a certain point as the head starts to crown, the midwife suddenly tells you to stop pushing and breathe. It’s then despite our determination to get the job done that we must trust and let go, slow down and let our bodies do the work it’s designed for –  to allow that fragile head to emerge gently in to the world.

From time to time, that’s something we all have to do; in order to ease our ideas and creativity in to the world, we have to stop pushing.

For there are certain things which no matter how hard we try, we cannot fix, control or make happen. In fact in those times when we are pushing so hard it becomes counter- productive, it’s imperative that we do let go so as not to injure the fledgling idea or ourselves. As we give way to the impetus and force of nature, it’s only then that we can hear its message. We must breathe through the pain of our helplessness at the same time as acknowledging that sometimes by surrendering, we give ourselves the greatest chance of success.

Yet without the midwife to tell us when that time has come, how do we know this for ourselves?

Again the body is a great source of information. While my mind urges me to take more and more actions, my body tells me it has had enough. I feel frazzled, exhausted, frustrated. I notice that despite all my best efforts, the goals I am trying to attain seem elusive. It’s then that I know it’s time to stop, take a breath, rest and listen for what’s in the stillness. Listen carefully to what my heart has to tell me.

Do you sometimes find yourself pushing too hard? How do you know when it’s time to let go and let nature take its course? What happens when you do?

And if you feel you have disconnected from knowing how to do this for yourself, that your life has become an ever revolving merry go round of constant activity and would like to explore what’s waiting for you in the stillness, please contact me at and we can take a pause together.

About Rona Steinberg

My work as a coach is centred around a simple desire to connect authentically and powerfully with my clients working with them to realise their goals and potential – in whatever sphere these may manifest themselves. I bring warmth, compassion, energy, humour and a keen intellect to my coaching.


  • moni

    20 October 2013 at 1:01 pm

    Dear Rona, thank you for transferring the feeling towards a metaphoer I can get a grip at!

    • Rona Steinberg

      20 October 2013 at 1:26 pm

      You are welcome dear Moni – and thank you for being one of those who recommended I let go in the first place xx

  • Anne

    20 October 2013 at 1:03 pm

    I love this post Rona. I think you have described how we might know for ourselves when it’s time to stop pushing – when it feels exhausting (i.e our body telling us something is not working) then it is time to at least check in on the pushing effort.
    I have been in busy mode for a few weeks. There are certain things that have to be pushed and moved on – and somehow I manage to spread the effort on to things that I would otherwise leave to flow. So I also noticed the side effect of getting into ‘push mode’ is that everything around me starts to look like it needs one!! So I will chil-lax and see what emerges.

    • Rona Steinberg

      20 October 2013 at 1:26 pm

      Thank you so much Anne, great noticing how pushes seem to reproduce – yikes! – and please share with us the results of your chil-lax xx

  • Louisa Burnand

    20 October 2013 at 4:02 pm

    Extraordinary to read this only minutes after I have sent out my Life Clubs email for this week on EXACTLY this subject! But more entertaining is John Cleese’s talk on creativity, which explains how important he believes this attitude to be, and offers his way of doing it – http://vimeo.com/18913413. Hope you enjoy it.
    Louisa x

    • Rona Steinberg

      20 October 2013 at 6:53 pm

      Obviously something in the zeitgeist Louisa, thank you xx

  • Haakon

    20 October 2013 at 5:02 pm

    You are a gifted writer Rona, and your message is so important and true! Even for a man who have only been assisting during a birth, your metaphor makes a lot of sence :-)

    • Rona Steinberg

      20 October 2013 at 6:54 pm

      Thank you so much Haakon xx

  • Cecile

    21 October 2013 at 4:18 pm

    It’s a great post and I can relate easily to it.
    I experienced 9 months ago the “stop pushing” call and the command of my body. I was stuck in bed to take a forced and life-saving long rest.
    I realized stillness has so much to offer if you open your senses & self to it. Going into stillness is not an “should to or have to” but a “want to”!
    Being able to balance stillness & being and doing is what I am working on … and often fail, Tada!!!

    • Rona Steinberg

      22 October 2013 at 7:56 am

      Yes, exactly Cecile – love your point about stillness not being a ‘should’ but rather a ‘want’ – that’s the whole point I guess

  • Maisy

    22 October 2013 at 10:20 am

    “We must breathe through the pain of our helplessness at the same time as acknowledging that sometimes by surrendering, we give ourselves the greatest chance of success”

    What an empowering thought! if everyone gets this affirmation heart at peace will be created

    amazing Rona, as always

    Thank you

  • Daniel

    3 November 2013 at 1:48 am

    it is curious!!! and when we push and push to hard and life rebounds strongly telling us STOP PUSHING!!!

    Thank you Rona for this great opportunity for the learning.

    • Rona Steinberg

      3 November 2013 at 10:49 am

      Hey thanks Daniel, yes it is amazing that our body have the capacity to tell us what we need – we just have to remember to LISTEN! XX

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