Out Loud Blog

Say It, Be It, Do it!

Do you feel hot?

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It’s hard to be a woman.

Periods, childbirth, body issues, looks issues, getting a man, losing a man, not having a man, being a single woman and all that means, having a career, not having a career, being successful, deciding whether to stay at home with the kids, wondering if you can have it all, not wanting it all, just wanting some peace, feeling the weight of everyone’s expectations, carrying the burden of everyone’s emotions, menopause. ..

Menopause – now there’s a goodie. Was there ever a more suckie, annoying, frustrating, pain in the bottom trick of nature than the moment when your body decides enough is enough with the reproduction thing and it is time to wind things down? But it’s not like it’s going to be a smooth, quiet transition – well, it might be for some but for me, FOR ME, this is perhaps one of the most OUT LOUD challenges of my life.

Just when I thought I was out of the woods on that particular front, there comes the biggest heatwave in living memory and boy, oh boy, am I hot! Not just hot but it feels like I’m carrying this enormous furnace around inside which without any warning can flare up anytime, anywhere, in a great overwhelming whoosh and I am ablaze and I cannot put this nicely, I am awash with sweat and my face is burning, my neck and throat and chest are streaming, I am literally on fire, and I can’t believe no one is noticing.  Nights are the worst, I can’t remember when I slept through the night and I am just so tired.

It’s distressing people, it’s unpleasant, it is downright weird.

But hey the weirdest thing about it is, we don’t really talk about it do we? One of the most natural things that can happen in a woman’s life and while we might admit what’s going on to our girlfriends (men look horribly uncomfortable at the slightest mention of a hot flush), we do it in a bit of a hushed voice, don’t make a fuss, don’t complain, just get on with it really. It’s all rather embarrassing and unedifying and shameful because let’s not say this too loudly, it’s a sign you’re getting old and past it and no one, no one in our youth obsessed culture wants to own up to that, right?  … And have you tried HRT? Or this supplement? Or soya bean stew?

I haven’t tried any of the above because I don’t want to put any more stuff inside my poor hot body. What I want is to plunge in the sea, or stand under a cool mountain waterfall, or direct a hose at my face or a large industrial fan at full speed.

Like I say it’s hard to be a woman – but it’s harder still to do it in silence and discreetly (I so hate that word).

So what I say to you women out there who are heating up and sweating your guts out – don’t do it quietly, shout it OUT LOUD, don’t be ashamed of your bodily functions, don’t feel worried it’s a visible sign of aging – so what, so what if it is? Aging is good, it’s fun, it’s nature in progress and it’s happening in a body near you.

If you are a middle aged woman struggling with any of this stuff, come get some coaching around self acceptance and all the wonderful things you are going to do now you don’t have to deal with so many hormones and periods and giving birth or not giving birth. Come, let’s be free of the shame, let’s celebrate being women with all our amazing physicality and bodily emissions. Let’s celebrate getting old – OUT LOUD AND PROUD – contact me at and let’s have a frank, explicit conversation.

And tell us, share with us, what’s been your experience of menopause. Is it ok? Seamless transition? Frustrating and endless? What do you really, really feel about getting old? What? We want to know, we want to share and we want to stop feeling so BOILING!!

About Rona Steinberg

My work as a coach is centred around a simple desire to connect authentically and powerfully with my clients working with them to realise their goals and potential – in whatever sphere these may manifest themselves. I bring warmth, compassion, energy, humour and a keen intellect to my coaching.


  • Zsaklin

    7 August 2013 at 1:39 pm

    Great stuff, Rona. Love it! We cook, do laundry, play hours with stuffed elephants, go on play dates, drive kids to football, tennis, basketball, busy being a wonderful mom, a great friend, a successful entrepreneur, the perfect wife, the supportive sister…etc and yet we find it soooo incredibly difficult to own our not so pretty stuff. We need more people like you to shout OUTLOUD: I’m messy, so what?

    • Rona Steinberg

      7 August 2013 at 2:50 pm

      Oh yes indeed Zsaklin – and I love that you relate to this from your perspective of being a young mum. I am wondering what your mess looks like?

  • Claude Laroche

    7 August 2013 at 4:26 pm

    Rona, I love that you have the courage to speak the difficult truth! There is no way for a man to relate to the menopause for women. It sure sounds challenging and “scary”. As an aging gay man, I am all about being OUT LOUD AND PROUD. I am nonetheless a man . . . and men certainly have a harder time to talk about aging and andropause or “man-opause”. The impact of low levels of testosterone in men includes loss of libido and potency, nervousness, depression, impaired memory, the inability to concentrate, fatigue, insomnia, hot flushes, and sweating . . . things guys never talk about. Men can learn from women in truly talking about the tough stuff. So boys and girls, lets be OUT LOUD AND PROUD and talk about erectile disfunction?

    • Rona Steinberg

      7 August 2013 at 5:11 pm

      Brave, brave, brave Claudie. Yes, we all need to be open about the things that are a natural part of being human – there is so much shame attached to our bodily functions and so much fear about what people will think about us if they only knew our shameful secrets – especially around the aging process. I love how you are extending this discussion to include men, their penises and their hormones. Maybe I don’t relate to the actual physical process but I certainly care about the people affected by it – and as a matter of fact that includes me as the wife of a man, the sister of two men, the daughter of a man, the mother of two sons, the aunt, the friend … well you get my drift. xx

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